Song Translation: My Fate

 

MY FATE

Gekka Ryouran Romance
Terashima Takuma, Takahashi Naozumi
Translated by Tasha
Edited by Elie

translation

In this cold cage of ice, the two of us are imprisoned
On the last of the unforgivable days we led, even tears won’t flow anymore, will they?
Missing you, but we can’t turn back; Calling you, but it doesn’t reach you
By just giving you a deep kiss, it closes: the path to Paradise.

Even if I can’t hear your voice, I can certainly feel you

No matter how many times, my feeling towards you whirls around;
Even if this love is not really love, it doesn’t matter
Hurt me more, leave me scars
So that even if you’re gone, I’ll feel like I can continue living

Nothing seek, nothing find
I take the plunge and lose everything
My fate that is carried inside my body
exists in a reality (now)that seems devoid of dreams

Even if both these eyes are crushed, I will definitely see it

I'll draw my love towards you countless times
and imprint them all on the back of my eyelids,
Overwhelm[1] me more strongly, run me down completely
and crush me into pieces along with this anxiety

“Even if I were to be reborn again, this love will still persist”
I don’t need these words anymore
Right now in this moment, I want to deeply hollow you out[2]
just to feel your existence

[1]  "重なる" means something like overlap or pile up; neither of which makes any sense so I just went with something that seems to work well in context
[2] If this sounds somewhat brutal, it's because it actually is. The most literal translation of "抉る" would be "to gouge". Yandere hints, anyone? (^^)

歌詞

冷たい氷のCage ふたり閉じ込められ
赦されぬ日々のLastday 涙さえももう流れないのね

 Missing You 戻れないよ Calling You届かないよ
深く接吻るほど 閉されてく 楽園への道が

声が聞こえなくても 確かに感じる

貴方への想いだけ 何度も渦巻いて 愛が愛じゃなくても構わないから
もっと痛めつけてよ 傷痕を残してよ 貴方が居なくても生きていける様に

Nothing seek. Unn…Nothing find 飛び込み すべて失って
身体の中に宿すMy Fate 夢は見ないそう現実(いま)を生きるわ

この両目潰されたとしても 確かに見えるの

貴方への愛だけを 何度も描いて 瞼の裏に焼き付けてくから
もっと強く重なって 私を轢き潰して この不安と共にすべて粉々に

「生まれ変わったとしても この愛を貫くよ」そんな言葉はもう要らないから
今この瞬間に 深く抉って欲しい 貴方の存在をただ感じたいAh…

romaji

tsumetai koori no cage futari tojikomerare
yurusarenu hibi no Lastday namida sae mo mou nagarenai no ne

Missing you modorenai yo Calling you todokanai yo
fukaku kuchitzukeru hodo tozasareteku rakuen no michi ga

koe ga kikoenakute mo tashika ni kanjiru

anata e no omoi dake nandomo uzumaite ai ga ai jyanakute mo kamawanai kara
motto itametsukete yo kizuna wo nokoshite yo anata ga inakute mo ikite ikeru you ni

Nothing seek. Unn... Nothing find tobikomi subete ushinatte
karada no naka ni yadosu My Fate yume wa minai sou ima wo ikiru wa

kono ryoumei tsubusareta toshite mo tashika ni mieru no

anata e no ai dake wo nandomo egaite mabuta no ura ni yakitsuketeku kara
motto tsuyoku kasanatte watashi wo hiki tsubushite kono fuan to tomo ni subete konagona ni

"umare kawatta toshite mo kono ai wo tsuranuku yo" sonna kotoba wa mou iranai kara
ima kono shunkan ni fukaku egutte hoshii anata no sonzai wo tada kanjitai Ah...

Song/Music Video Review : Hoppipolla

Smiling

Spinning round and round

Holding hands

The whole world a blur

But you are standing

Soaked

Completely drenched

No rubber boots

Running inside us

Wanting to erupt from the shell

The Wind

An outdoor smell of your hair

I breathe as hard as I can with my nose

Jump into puddles

With no boots on

Completely drenched(Soaked)

With no boots on

And I get a nosebleed

But I always stand up

(Hopelandic)

And I get a nosebleed

But I always stand up

(Hopelandic)

Here's a little dash of Iceland for the blog. Hoppipolla is performed by a group of musicians from Iceland called Sigur Ros (whose concert in Malaysia I sadly miss last year but that's another sad story). This song is probably one of the more radio-friendly songs of the group - hence maybe the popularity, but it does not take anything away from the quality and musicality of the song. Hoppipolla has a very simple premise, both in the song and in the music video : becoming a child again. Even the title roughly translates to "jumping into puddles". But it is the innocent and naive message that the song is conveying that makes it so bittersweet and nostalgic. Because it is something that most of us have stashed away behind books and work and worries to be left to rot. 

For reference, Hopelandic, as often used in Sigur Ros' songs is a constructed language without any semantic meaning that is implemented by the band to allow the listeners to interpret their own meaning- a method also famously used by Yuki Kajiura. 

One couldn't have asked for a better music video to accompany this song. It reflects the childhood nostalgia present in the song from door pranks, wooden swords, young love to stealing pears from the poor oblivious shopkeeper. It has a hint of mischief but also an underlying tone of sadness. The 'children' is this video are not young kids with scraped knees and muddy nails. Perhaps it is a reminder that one can always keep the childhood innocence at heart despite the passing of time. Or perhaps it reflects that sad reality that one can only afford to be a child again when one's time is ending. Who knows. There are many scenes where the shots were purposely taken to make it seem as if it was children running behind fences and jumping around on muddy sidewalks before panning to give the us the full view. I think that is very clever of the director. The scene that hits me the hardest is where they were playing pretend-pirates in the graveyard and did not bat an eyelash at the reminder of death surrounding them.

There is something about a piece of music or art that transcends more than just screaming admiration and stage performances. It brings you to places you thought can only be visited in lysergic dreams and lost childhood. And it is when one encounters such rarity that one actually take a step back and bask in whatever  is left of the moment. Surprisingly, something that one often underestimate. So thank you Sigur Ros, I needed that. And in the spirit of hoppipolla, og ég fæ blóðnasir, en ég stend alltaf upp.

Suffice to say, I am a sobbing mess right now.

Song Translation: 1%

1%
Fujita Maiko
translated by elie and tasha

歌詞

めざましの音で目を覚ます

いつもより暗いから

今日は雨かな

頭がなんだか重い

昨日　夜　泣きながら

疲れて眠ったんだった

声が聞きたかった

それだけだったのに

電話はまた

言い争いに変わってた

あなたは優しいから

きっと言い出せずにいるんでしょう

気付かないふりをして

私は今日も

そばにいようとしてる

私は何回も確かめる

そのたびに　あなたは

言葉をにごす

好きになれたこと

それで幸せだったのに今は

同じだけ思ってほしい 

私が欲張るほど

きっとあなたは

遠ざかってく

いつから私はこんなふうに

なってしまったんだろう

ごめんね

感じてる

もうだめだって

だけど１％でも

望みがあるならって

惨めにも思ってしまうの

あなたは優しいから

きっと私から言わせるのでしょう

私が前を向いて

ちゃんと進んでいけるようにと

あなたは優しいから

きっと言い出せずにいるんでしょう

気付かないふりをして

私は今日も

そばにいようとしてる

もう少しまって

私強くなるから

romaji

mezamashi no oto de
me wo samasu
itsumo yori kurai kara
kyou wa ame ka na

atama ga nandaka omoi
kinou yoru nakinagara
tsukarete nemuttandatta

koe ga kikitakatta
sore dake datta no ni
denwa wa mata
ii arasoi ni kawatteta

anata wa yasashii kara
kitto ii dasezu ni irundeshou
kizukanai furi wo shite
watashi ha kyou mo
soba ni iyou to shiteru

watashi wa nankai mo
tashikameru
sono tabi ni anata wa
kotoba wo nigosu

suki ni nareta koto
sore de shiawase datta no ni ima wa
onaji dake omotte hoshii

watashi ga yokubaru hodo
kitto anata wa
toozakatteku
itsukara watashi wa konna fuu ni
natta shimattandarou
gomen ne

kanjiteru
mou dame datte
dakedo ichi paasento demo
nozomi ga aru naratte
mijime ni mo omotte shimau no

anata wa yasashii kara
kitto watashi kara iiwaseru no deshou
watashi ga mae wo muite
chanto susunde ikeru you ni to

anata wa yasashii kara
kitto ii dasezu ni irundeshou
kizukanai furi wo shite
watashi wa kyou mo
soba ni iyou to shiteru

mou sukoshi matte
watashi tsuyoku naru kara

translation

at the sound of the alarm, I open my eyes
it’s darker than usual today
i wonder if it’s raining?

my head feels somewhat heavy
Ah…that’s right
yesterday night I fell asleep
after I’m too tired of crying

i just wanted to hear your voice
that’s all,
but the phone call
turned into quarrel again

because you’re kind,
you probably won’t say it, will you?
pretending that i didn’t notice
today, again,
i’m trying to stay by your side

i try many times
to make sure
each time
you prevaricated your words

you fell in love with me
that was good enough to make me happy before, but now
i hope that you could love me as much as I love you

the more I desire from you,
the further you will go away from me
i wonder since when I’ve become like this…
i’m sorry

i can feel it
the feeling that we’ll both reach our limits soon
but as long as you still long for me, even if it’s merely 1%...
i know i’m miserable but i can’t help thinking this way

because you’re kind
i’m sure you’ll let me to be the one to say it, right?
so that I can look forward
and move on properly in the future

because you’re kind
you probably won’t say it, will you?
pretending that i didn’t notice
today, again,
i’m trying to stay by your side

please wait a little more
…i’ll be stronger soon

中文翻譯

被鬧鐘的聲音吵醒

今天 比平時還要陰暗

是不是下雨了呢？

頭 有些沉重

昨天夜裏 哭累了就直接那樣睡着了

想聼聼你的聲音

明明只是這樣而已

電話聯絡卻又變成了爭吵

因爲你很溫柔

你一定不會說出口的吧？

裝作什麽都沒發現

我今天也一樣

企圖繼續呆在你的身旁

我不斷的嘗試 去確認

但每一次  你的話語都好含糊

你能喜歡上我

過去 僅僅這點 就足以令我感到幸福

可是現在 我希望你愛得像我一樣多

我越是貪婪地奢求

你離得就越是遙遠

究竟是從什麽時候 我開始變成這樣的呢？

對不起

我能感覺到

已經快要不行了

但即使只有1%

只要還有那麽一丁點的渴望

即便這樣很可悲 我還是會禁不住這樣想

因爲你很溫柔

你一定會讓我先開口的吧？

好讓我向前看  好好的前行

因爲你很溫柔

你一定不會說出口的吧？

裝作什麽都沒發現

我今天也一樣

企圖繼續呆在你的身旁

請再等一下

我會變強的

Re: Hotarubi no Mori e: A Touch of Romance

(an attempt of essay writing after almost 10 months)

Something that disappears when touched... It's just like snow isn't it?

First of all apologies for any incoherence in this word vomit of emotions. How to eloquent? On to the review. Hotarubi no Mori e has always been one of those mangas that I feel like I should think twice/thrice before rereading due to the immense emotions it is capable of giving. One of the things that I really like about this story is how simple and subtle it is. I like boring things and this is just perfect. There are no unnecessary additional characters, set and over-the-top plot twist; even the art (which am going to elaborate much much more later on) is kept simple. The mangaka made it very clear of conflicts of the story from the very first time we were introduced to the characters and it sort of stayed like that. 

Am a spirit. You're a human. You touch, I die. 

Well, basically. Not that am complaining with the simple prompt. Not at all. It actually gives more room for the readers/viewers to see the interaction and growing relationship between these characters. The emphasis on physical contact, or lack thereof, actually helped shed more light on the little details between Gin and Hotaru's romance. Like I said, the strength of this story is its subtlety. The progress between Hotaru and Gin's romance isn't on big gestures like surprise hugs and kisses as what you would expect from the usual shoujo mangas because they couldn't afford the consequences that come after. Hotaru couldn't afford to lose Gin and Gin couldn't bear the fact of Hotaru blaming herself should he disappear. Cue sad, distressed fangirl mode.

No matter what, don't ever touch me okay?

The writing of this story is also very clever. There is a lot of mirroring going on in the story to show the contrast and development of Gin and Hotaru's relationship. 

   

 

I won't go in too deep about the whole dynamic between these two because I think Fairuz did a great job at  expressing it. So I'll leave it at that.

This is the part where I get scared to write and quite possibly be seen an shallow, but hell.

The art of the manga and anime is amazing. I was initially quite skeptical to watch the anime version out of fear that the production company would ruin the subtlety of the original art as what usually happens to animes, sadly. This is a huge deal for me because the art is the storytelling and that is what made the manga so good in the first place since the plot is relatively very simple. The panning, panel order, use of negative spaces, simple pen strokes - these are the small things that create the whole atmosphere of the story. And am very thankful that the production team of the anime kept that close in mind when designing the set (most probably because the anime is just 45-minute long so they can afford to be so keen on the details).

The colour gradient used was very calm (compared to K which has a lot more deep contrast going on) and there are a lot of soft light and bird-eye view going on which I think adds to the whole concept of "distance" going on in Hotaru and Gin's relationship. 

  

Considering that the entire anime and manga was set at the forest, am glad to see that the production company added A LOT of amazing scenery feast to create this whole soft, mythical image for the forest. 

so pretty my god

So yes, that concluded my somewhat brief (and sadly not as deep) review of this amazing story. I shall attempt a better review at later time orz

Hotarubi no Mori e: A Touch of Romance

So, while spending my lazy ass at Nadia's place throughout the whole of last week, we decided to go on a sadness spree and took a jab at every bittersweet movie we could get our hands on. Feeling particularly sappy (and taking Nadia's aversion to long animes into consideration), I recommended this, and we spent the next 40 minutes sprawled on the mattress with our eyes glued to the screen.

Cue very depressed ladies inwardly bawling their hearts out after the show.

But the best thing was: we watched it rather recently after watching several other Western movies, and as good as some of the movies may be (Looper, particularly, was a memorable watch), they also made the aspect of physical contact (or lack thereof) in Hotarubi no Mori e evermore profound.

Hotarubi no Mori e is undoubtedly a romance; no qualms there. But as compared to other romance mangas/animes--and trust me, I've read a lot of Shoujo titles XD--it has a poignant feel in its delivery, using small details, actions and imagery such as the seasons and differences in height to tell the full story rather than just presenting everything for the viewers to watch. I was surprised at how much more pleasant the movie is the second time around, and am of course very impressed with the amount of detail the studio put into the adaptation.

But what made the anime more memorable for me, really, is the way it emphasized the importance of touch in a relationship. Physical contact is nearly always seen as something so small that it's usually taken for granted. It makes up the premise for a lot of shows--Western and Eastern alike--where the focus is usually on the emotions and feelings rather than contact. For instance, people being in a relationship and doing everything couples do but not feeling the spark until it's with 'The One'. Or new innocent couples going to the next step in their relationship by... holding hands, and feeling awed by how something so normal can feel so different when done with the significant other.

Touching is natural. It's a natural progression in a relationship which eventually will lead to other more important issues such as trust, or waning love. Rarely is it ever the defining point of a relationship. In fact, love and physical contact are so intertwined with each other that love is often related to the concept of warmth. Love is warm. It keeps you warm in the coldest winter nights... or does it?

Hotaru seems to imply that it doesn't in the scene where she holds a classmate's hand to avoid slipping on the ice. The act of her taking the offered hand is particularly significant: touch gives warmth, which in turn gives a sense of safety and security and of course love. But the giver of this warmth is not Gin; it will never be Gin, because they could never hold each other. Contrast this with the scene of Hotaru sleeping alone at night the day before with a melancholic expression on her face. In both scenes, Hotaru is undoubtedly thinking about Gin. But she doesn't relate it to warmth until she takes her classmate's hand.

The expression of Hotaru's face in the moment she holds her classmate's hand seems to show that she understands. She doesn't think of warmth when she thinks of Gin, but she knows she's supposed to. Because love, in many ways, is touch. It's not formed by it, no, but it's one of the best ways to express it. And it doesn't even have to be anything particularly intimate: a hand on your shoulder to comfort you when you're sad or even just a tap on your arm as a greeting when they see you... these are warmth. These are love. It is not exactly love that keeps you warm during cold night, but rather the memory of warmth, or to be more specific, of touch.

Hotaru has none of these, and perhaps it is then that she finally understands that her relationship with Gin is different and might never last.

"I want to see Gin."
Gin seems to realize this, as his words affirm when he tries to get Hotaru to forget about him.


"Hotaru, it's okay if you forget about me. A body that's maintained by magic is very weak. If it touches a real human body, the spell will break and the body will disappear. It's such a fragile thing. How long can you--"
What exactly was Gin trying to point out? Hotaru cut him off before he could explain thoroughly, but Gin seems to affirm what Hotaru has just realized for herself. Strong as their relationship may be, without any memory of physical contact, Hotaru was bound to eventually go to someone who will be able to give her warmth and reassurance.

But it's also at this time that she strengthens her resolve and thinks to herself that she wants to be with Gin for as long as the relationship can hold out.

"Gin, I thought of you during Winter. Even during Autumn and Spring. Gin, don't forget about me. Don't forget."

"Time might separate us one day. But, even still, until then, let's stay together."
It seems a very smart move for the studio to focus on the distance between the two when the second line is delivered. It seems to imply that their inability to hold each other will eventually lead to their separation, yet few people at this time seem to notice that the opposite is also true. Hotaru's act of touching Gin will also eventually lead to their parting. And just as how touch is used in other relationships as a form of strengthening their bond, in Hotaru and Gin's case it seems to act as an impenetrable wall... which makes Gin's words even more tragic:

"When you say things like that, it makes me want to glomp you."

"Do it. Seriously."
If they're going to part one way or another, Gin would rather choose to disappear after holding her than to never get the chance at all. But why has Gin never insisted on this? Probably because he doesn't want Hotaru to live with the fact that she had caused him to disappear. Because as opposed to Gin who will 'die' after the embrace, Hotaru will live on with both the memory and the guilt. Either thought is equally heartbreaking.

And though it seems horribly sad that their relationship had ended in such a way, it can also be said that this was probably the best outcome for them. With this, at least Gin wouldn't have to spend the rest of his days alone if Hotaru ever leaves, and Hotaru doesn't need to be weighed by the guilt that her yearning for warmth 'killed' Gin if they ever do decide that the circumstances were too much for them to live with.

All in all, Hotarubi no Mori e provides a very clear view of what a relationship would be like without one of its most basic elements, and the results are stunning, thought-provoking and above all just despairingly heart-wrenching.

I can probably drone on and on about the other aspects of the anime that I find well-executed, but this is probably enough word vomit for a first post! Will write more soon~